Question:
“… I need some wisdom regarding Church leadership and was wondering what are the clear evidences of spiritual abuse or abuse of authority. I just cannot balance yung thought of wanting people to follow Christ and exhorting them to deny themselves and then yung thought na baka hindi na nabibigyan ng avenue ang mga members to say no sa mga pinapagawa ng leadership… Ang context po ng question ko ay may fear po ako na maging passive or abusive ng authority I want to encourage the members to love and serve the Lord pero at the same time give them an avenue to say no lalo na po if they think na they are not prepared for the responsibility.”
Answer:
This is a crucial and relevant concern in our churches today. And biblical leadership is easier explained than done. With still little experience I have in the ministry, here’s my answer.
To begin, there are different forms and degrees of spiritual abuse in church leadership. And it’s not always easy to identify. There’s even a book The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse by David Johnson and Jeff Van Vonderen (emphasis added). Posible na may spiritual abuse na pero hindi ito nakikita ng leaders at members ng church. So posible rin na masunurin ang members sa pinapagawa ng leadership bagama’t ito’y hindi na biblical.
Sa madaling salita, ang goal ng church leadership ay hindi lang mapasunod ang iba sa ating leadership, kundi para lumago ang mga tao sa pagkilala at pagsunod nila kay Cristo mismo.
Some Evidences of Spiritual Abuse
Before discussing biblical leadership, let me give some common marks of spiritual abuse in a church:
1. When it’s unbiblical
Kapag ang tinuturo at pinapagawa ng leaders ay malinaw na kasalanan at saliwa sa Salita ng Diyos, o kaya’y walang suporta mula sa Salita ng Diyos, ito’y form of spiritual abuse.
2. When it’s detrimental to the person
Kapag ang pinapagawa ng leaders ay sobra-sobra at napapabayaan na ng tao ‘yong personal health (spiritual, physical, and emotional) at family niya, ito’y abuse of spiritual authority. For example, may mga leaders na nag-e-expect na ang member ay tumulong at mag-perform na para bang full-time worker sa church, pero ang allowance naman na binibigay ay sobrang liit o kaya’y wala pa nga. Tapos ang madalas na igigiit ng leaders, ito’y para sa Lord kaya dapat willing mag-sacrifice.
3. When the leaders are always right
Kapag ang mga leaders ay “untouchable” at hindi pwede mag-question or mag-disagree ang members, malamang ito’y may abuse of spiritual authority. Ang mga leaders ay nagkakamali rin. Pero kung hindi sila marunong mag-admit ng kanilang mga pagkakamali sa mga members at hindi nila in-a-address talaga ‘yong issues (e.g., superficially saying, just forgive and forget), there is a problem. May mga leaders na kapag nagkaroon ng issue sa church, kasalanan lang lagi ng members. Laging may responsibility ang leaders sa lahat ng aspeto ng church. Sa mga pagkukulang ng members, may pagkukulang din ang mga leaders one way or another.
Leading without Spiritual Abuse
So how should church leaders lead without being either passive or abusive? The apostle Peter gives a good reference.
“So I exhort the elders among you, as a fellow elder and a witness of the sufferings of Christ, as well as a partaker in the glory that is going to be revealed: shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight, not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you; not for shameful gain, but eagerly; not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock.” (1 Peter 5:1-3, ESV)
God’s Word gives a profound leadership principle contrary to how the world often perceives and exercises leadership. Biblical leadership is shepherd-leadership. Like the Good Shepherd in Psalm 23, a shepherd-leader does not simply direct and command. He leads, provides, protects, and nurtures. Kahit si Paul, ginamit ‘yong picture ng isang ina para i-describe ‘yong kaniyang leadership toward the Thessalonian believers. “… we were gentle among you, like a nursing mother taking care of her own children” (1 Thess. 2:7).
Hindi ibig sabihin “soft” ang biblical leadership. Far from it. But it’s a leadership that submits to God and reflects God. Let me expound a little more with three basic leadership principles.
1.) Lead by God’s authority through His Word
Ang unang dapat maintindihan nating mga church leaders ay ang authority natin ay isa lamang na “derived authority.” “Exercise oversight… willingly, as God would have you” (emphasis added). Gano’n din ang exhortation ni Paul sa mga Ephesian leaders, “Pay careful attention to yourselves and to all the flock, in which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to care for the church of God, which he obtained with his own blood” (Acts 20:28, emphasis added).
Ang Diyos ang Siyang tumawag sa’tin na maglingkod bilang leaders. At ang church ay hindi natin pagmamay-ari kundi ito’y pagmamay-ari ng Diyos. It is ultimately God’s ministry, not ours.
Yes, we must lead—actively, willingly, eagerly. Yet we must keep in mind that it’s leadership from God. How does God lead us?
Through His Word and Spirit working in each believer.
For church leaders, it means leading God’s people through His written revelation—the Word of God. Narito sa Salita ng Diyos ang awtoridad at kapangyarihan ng Diyos para sumunod at lumago ang isang Kristiyano (cf. 2 Tim. 3:16-17). Kaya dapat natin siguraduhin na ang mga pinapagawa natin sa mga church members ay nakasulat o nakaayon sa Salita ng Diyos. Kung may mga advise tayo sa kanila, it must reflect biblical wisdom and discernment.
Hindi naman din lahat ng dapat nating gawin ay laging explicit sa Scripture.
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.” (Philippians 4:8–9).
So when encouraging believers to live in a certain manner or do something, church leaders must first ensure it is biblical and the people understand it. Mahirap kung basta sunod na lang sila pero hindi nila alam na ito’y tama at kalugod-lugod sa Diyos. And once it’s clear that it’s biblical, for the glory of God, and for the good of the church, members must submit to their leaders.
Pero kung disagree man ang member sa mga bagay na hindi explicit sa Scripture, they should still express disagreement with humility and respect.
2.) Lead by love and humility
Leaders should also lead not by their desire for ministerial success, but by their love for the people of God. It’s not for our “personal gain” but their gain. It’s hard to measure our love and concern for others. But when members recognize that whatever we do and say is out of love for them, they will more likely submit and follow.
Kaya importante na ma-build ang relationships natin sa mga church members sa iba’t-ibang paraan, hindi lamang tuwing Lord’s Day services or Study Groups. It could be through family visitations, fellowship over meals, or doing things together.
Sharing lives together takes time and effort, but it’s a necessary ingredient for healthy counseling, encouragement, and discipleship.
At the same time, shepherd-leadership is not “domineering.” Kapag ang leaders ay “intimidating,” ang members ay hindi na makapag-sabi ng saloobin nila o disagreement. Pagkatapos i-exhort ang iba na mag-submit sa leaders, sabi ni Peter, “… clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble” (1 Peter 5:5, emphasis added). Ang mga leaders ay kinakailangan na maging mapagpakumbaba rin sa pakiki-tungo sa mga members.
Kaya kung sakali mang hindi agree ang members sa mga instructions or advise, it’s unbecoming for leaders to burst out in anger or shame the person before the whole church.
If members can’t see it in Scripture or just don’t get it yet, leaders must remain gentle and at peace with them as much as possible.
3.) Lead by example
Peter exhorts, “Not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock” (1 Peter 5:3). This is crucial and often the most difficult. Madalas sa maraming mga magulang, sasabihin sa anak, “Gawin mo ‘yong sinasabi ko, hindi ‘yong ginagawa ko.” That’s poor leadership.
As Paul said, “Imitate me, as I imitate Christ” (1 Corinthians 11:1). “Remember your leaders, those who spoke to you the word of God. Consider the outcome of their way of life, and imitate their faith” (Hebrews 13:7).
Shepherds don’t drive the sheep; they lead them and show them the way. Gano’n mismo ang Diyos sa’tin. Hindi Niya lang basta sinasabi kung anong dapat nating gawin. Binigay at binibigay Niya rin ang lahat ng ating Kailangan para tayo’y makapamuhay nang ayon sa Kanyang kalooban.
So even when members are hesitant to follow and serve Christ in some ways, leaders must patiently instruct them from Scripture and show them in practice. Let’s give them a model of following Christ—come what may.
Conclusion
There are many other things we could discuss about biblical leadership, at hindi sapat ang isang article para masagot ang lahat ng concerns natin.
But in conclusion, we must remember that discipleship is a lifelong journey. Kahit ang mga apostol ni Cristo, hindi rin nila naunawaan ang lahat ng mga sinasabi ni Cristo o kaya’y naging tapat at masuruin sa Kanya sa lahat ng oras. It took them time to grow.
Kaya gano’n din tayo sa mga kapatid natin sa pananampalataya. We must be patient and understanding with one another. At para sa’ting mga church leaders, importante na makilala natin nang husto ang mga taong inilagay ng Diyos sa ating churches. Alamin natin kung saang level na sila bilang mga disciples ni Cristo. You can’t expect a child to do tasks meant for adults. Likewise, you can’t force a spiritual infant to act and serve like spiritual adults. Otherwise, they will likely fail or be exhausted. We must lead and nurture them accordingly.
So kailangan nating isipin, “How is the Lord working in this person’s life? Where is the Lord leading him/her? What are the gifts and opportunities that God has given him/her?” At do’n natin sila i-e-encourage na i-pursue ang kalooban ng Diyos para sa kanila, ayon sa Kanyang Salita. Madalas kasi, we want to pattern the sheep after ourselves. Nakakalimutan natin, they are God’s sheep—not ours. It is ultimately God who leads them.
Discipleship then is a two-way relationship between under-shepherds and the flock. Shepherds must know the sheep and share lives with them. The flock likewise must open their lives to the shepherds and submit to them. Shepherds must lead well as Christ’s disciples and servants; members must submit well as Christ disciples too. At kung may mga disagreements (yamang hindi rin naman perfect ang mga leaders), kailangan mayroong honest and open communication. Nagiging mahirap din sa mga leaders kapag ang members ay may problema na pala, pero kapag kinukumusta ng leaders ay hindi naman nagsasabi.
The church must therefore cultivate a culture of open communication and growing friendships.
Ultimately, all of this makes church leadership an overwhelming task. We need the Great Shepherd to shepherd us too. Christ alone is the perfect Shepherd, who laid down His life for the sheep (John 10:11), to meet our greatest needs, satisfy our deepest longings, protect us from the worst enemies, and continually sustain us until the end. And by His Spirit, He leads the church to becoming His glorious and perfect bride in the last day.
Until Christ returns, church leaders are imperfect under-shepherds of an imperfect church. Marami tayong hindi alam; marami din tayong mga kahinaan at pagkakamali. At kahit pa tama ang tinuturo natin sa iba, hindi natin sila kayang baguhin kung hindi sila babaguhin ng Diyos. We are totally dependent on God.
Kaya ang magandang panalangin natin lagi kay Lord, “Shepherd us so we can shepherd your people.”
