A couple of days ago, the Philippine Congress approved the bill that would finally legalize divorce in the country. The Philippines is the only place outside the Vatican where divorce is illegal, primarily due to the influence of the Roman Catholic church. This legal move by Congress sparked various reactions and responses—especially from Christians and conservative people.
It’s not my intention in this article to share my views concerning marriage and divorce. If you’re wondering what’s the biblical view about divorce and under what circumstances it is valid, you may find this article helpful, “Marriage and Divorce According to Jesus” by Pastor James Bryner Chu.
What I’d like you to consider is how we Christians should react and respond to this social issue.
While it’s crucial to point out what the government must do when making and carrying out laws concerning marriage and divorce, it’s more important to understand what we must be doing as the “salt and light of this world” (Matthew 5:13-16).
Let me give 4 directions.
1. Pray for the government
The absolute divorce bill is one of those legal issues that shows the government’s place in society. They are God’s appointed institution to bring order to our communities. God’s Word is clear, “there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God” (Romans 13:1). Whatever political affiliation you have, those sitting in the government offices now are there by God’s sovereignty.
And as government officials, they make and execute laws. That’s their jurisdiction. That’s their job.
Since they’re called to be God’s instruments for exercising peace and order, justice and righteousness… and since their laws and actions affect everyone in the land—we have great reasons to PRAY for them.
Paul makes it clear in 1 Timothy 2:1-2, “First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgiving be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way.”
Legalizing divorce has big implications and effects on our society. Let’s keep praying that God will work among our leaders and lead them to do what’s right and for the common good. Pray for them in your private time; pray for them in your church.
2. Do your duty to the government and society
As Christ said, Christians and churches are the “salt and light of this world.” We’re not isolated members of our communities. We’re called to be out there, making a godly influence on this fallen world. Though we’re not of this world, we’re still in this world.
This is hard to balance.
There’s a separation between the state (government) and the church. While the government is God’s instituted authority on matters of society, the church is God’s instituted authority on matters of religion. The government cannot hold religious services or dictate what should be preached on Sundays. Neither can the church appoint the next President or use military power to execute justice. None should go beyond their God-given jurisdictions.
Nonetheless, while there’s an essential distinction and mutual independence between the two, there must be a friendly alliance and cooperation between the church and government.
Church history can attest that when there’s a healthy connection between the two institutions, peace, order, and righteousness progress as well. Sadly, gone are the days when kings, queens, and nobles were Christians or would consult with Christians even in legal matters. I’ve seen this in the recent COVID-19 crisis. The majority of the worldwide church and its leaders were silent, just following whatever the government ordered without questioning, even at the expense of people’s spiritual lives.
I wonder, did the Congress and its members consult pastors and other church leaders before drafting and approving the absolute divorce bill? I hope so.
Of course, the decreased influence of the Christian church on the government is a product of many factors across many years. Disunity among churches. Scandals among pastors. Corruption among leaders who identify as Christians. The church’s less and less involvement in the community. These are but some of the factors that diminished the church’s integrity and influence.
What then is our duty as Christians and churches today?
Fulfill the great commission of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. The gospel and all his commands must be proclaimed to “all nations,” to everyone, including government officials. We may not endorse politicians and do “block voting.” We may not support all government programs in our community. But as the Lord allows, let’s seek opportunities to get the Word out there—to the crowd, to the society, to the leaders.
Preach the gospel faithfully. Open your church doors to strangers.
Evangelize your family and friends. Live a godly life in your community.
And if you have the desire, skills, and opportunities to lead a community—then run for a government office and lead as a Christian.
Consider this: Unless the government recognizes the Word of God as the truth and the standard for righteousness; unless the government recognizes Christianity as the true way of life—we can’t expect them to push laws and programs consistent with biblical convictions.
As Christians and churches, we possess the only means for peace, order, and righteousness in the land. How can the government discern what is lawful and not, if not through the Word of the Judge of all? Let’s bring the Law and Gospel out there. Let’s show and convince people that the ultimate solution to unhealthy and toxic marriages is not divorce but the transforming grace of God in Christ which His Spirit works in us through the Word.
3. Teach about marriage and support marriages
Married couples don’t just fall out of love easily. Broken marriages don’t break overnight. It’s often the result of failure to build that marriage over time.
Loving someone and building a healthy and lasting marriage take work. Hard and persistent work. None of us can do this on our own. We need God’s grace. We need guidance. We need support.
I remember a time when my wife and I led a small study group of single women in a church. The conversation led to the topic of singleness and marriage. While I was explaining what the Bible says about it, one woman interrupted me, saying, “Why don’t we just talk about more biblical topics? We’re a Reformed church, right? Why not explain to us ‘Sola Scriptura’ (the doctrine of Scriptures)…?”
I was quite shocked to hear that. Doesn’t she understand that by talking about marriage from the Bible, we’re also upholding the doctrine of the authority of Scripture? Some from the group also insisted that learning about marriage from the Bible is also relevant to their lives.
Faithful teaching of theology in the church doesn’t mean setting aside practical matters of Christian living. You and I can teach—and must teach—practical things doctrinally. If we don’t teach our church members how to lead their wives lovingly and submit to their husbands lovingly, we may turn them into individuals who know a lot about theology—but whose marriages and families are in shambles. If we don’t teach single Christians about marriage, we may turn them into people who can defend the sovereignty and providence of God yet are afraid to enter into a lifelong commitment in marriage.
Right doctrine always leads to right living. True doctrine is demonstrated in all of life.
So preach on gospel-centered marriage in your pulpits. Teach it in your fellowship groups. Include it in your conversations. Host seminars and invite others too.
And especially for us pastors and church leaders, let’s do everything to strengthen marriages and save those at the brink of failure. I once had the experience of counseling a couple in the church where the husband cheated on his wife with a series of extramarital affairs. And it’s not the first time it happened. It was stressful; it was devastating to the man, his wife, his family, and the church.
Some others were telling the wife to already file a legal complaint against the husband. Some suggest living in separate houses. When the wife asked my counsel, I said, “Not so quick. Let’s still try to fix it first.”
They went into a long and difficult process. Not that long compared with others, but it wasn’t resolved overnight or a month after. For many days and weeks, they were living in the same house like ghosts to each other. Especially the husband, they needed to put in a lot more work to save their marriage and family. And as a pastor, I poured in more attention and support for them than anybody else in the church.
To make it short, God had mercy on them and they eventually reconciled. Indeed, separation or divorce is not part of God’s design for marriage; it’s something we shouldn’t desire for our marriages. Even in times of distress, marriage is worth fighting for.
As Christians and churches, let’s encourage building up our marriages and families. For without strong and healthy marriages, there’s no strong and healthy church as well.
4. Strengthen your family and prepare your kids for marriage
Many singles today are hesitant and delay marriage, either due to incapability or fear of the complexities of married life. Many young couples also enter marriage only to get frustrated after the honeymoon and regretful in the long run. As a result, many people have this mindset: “Why marry when you’ll just get separated anyway?”
This, I believe, is due to insufficient discipleship and training of children today.
Christian parents, the best person to bring up your kids is neither the pastor nor the school teacher. It’s you. In partnership with the church, disciple your kids in the ways of God. Share the gospel with them. Guide them in following and obeying Christ.
Show your kids the beauty and meaning of marriage as God’s gift. Model what it means to love, especially unconditional love. Keep investing in your marriage as the years go by. Pray with and for one another. Read together books like “The Meaning of Marriage.” Go on regular dates. Have a family retreat.
Inside your house or outside, let your children see you and your spouse cherishing one another every single day.
Talk with your kids about forgiveness and sacrifice. As they grow up, have conversations about dating, courtship, sex, and marriage. Pray with them and for them.
More than virtual games, give them work to do in the house. Encourage them to take responsibility. Push them to work hard and save.
Instill in their minds that the day will soon come when they too will have their marriage and family—and they must prepare for it with confidence and hope in God.
When Yeng and I got married, we were only 25 and 23 years old respectively. Many people were questioning our decision. “Aren’t you too young for this? How do you know you’re ready?” During one of our premarital counseling sessions, we faced these big questions. My response was like: “None of us will be ready enough for this. Even if we wait for 5-10 more years, life will always be difficult, marriage will always be hard work. If we just focus on the hardships of life and the complexities of marriage, we have all reason to fear and back out. But it is the Lord who will build our marriage. It is the Lord whom we will trust.”
My Mom would also tell me before our wedding, “Don’t be afraid to get married. If you’re in the Lord, you have everything you need to make it work. It’s not as if you’re entering this blindly. You know God’s will. You have His Word.”
I can’t be more thankful enough for how the Lord used my parents and family to prepare me for the hard, rollercoaster, yet satisfying adventure of marriage.
Christian parents, it’s our duty to “train up [our] children in the way they should go” (Proverbs 22:6). And when we do, we can trust and hope that God will turn them into godly adults, loving husbands and wives, responsible fathers and mothers, and inspiring citizens of our country.
Conclusion
If only all marriages and families in the Philippines (and worldwide) were growing healthy and happy, divorce wouldn’t be an option. We may not expect it from everyone, but let’s start it in our own families and churches.
Even the Philippine Constitution recognizes that the family is the basic unit of society. Yes, and marriage is at its core. While we pray and hope for the best in how the government and society view this issue of divorce—let’s keep building godly and healthy marriages in our homes and churches as the salt and light of this world.
